Welcome To My Life

Inside my mind,

Where you will find my first memories,

All of my life’s discoveries,

All of life’s pains and all of my recoveries,

Things that I remember not stories I was told,

I can’t remember being alive before the age of five,

My most distant memory is the first day of school,

I remember not being nervous and the weather was still cool,

I had a chubby friend named James,

That was the first person I fought that’s why I remember his name,

The smell of arts and crafts supplies,

My eyes can almost still see the classroom,

Ms. Johnson was the teacher,

I can still remember she was tall, her most distinct feature,

I thought I had a girlfriend “Eqanell”

Unique girl,

Unique name,

I’ve seen her as an adult and she still kind of looks the same,

That was school,

Home was different,

This was the year Dad decided to leave,

He just walked away from all his responsibilities,

Mom held it down the best she could,

She should be proud of the job she did,

I wasn’t bad but I was definitely not good,

A loner not by choice,

Only one real male role model,

No other male even bothered,

It was just me and my grandfather,

He taught me how to work,

How to stand up for myself,

That family is real wealth,

I was young when he started having poor health,

After he went to heaven I felt all alone,

Taught myself how to be a man,

How to stand tall,

How if I fall to keep going,

I can’t lie in my teen years not having a father around started showing,

I didn’t know what kind of man I wanted to be,

Tried to mimic all I could see,

My love for my mother is so strong I stayed away from real trouble,

Without my respect and love for her only God knows where I’d be,

Still I was no saint,

I did my dirt,

Spur of the moment decisions in my teens still haunt me to this day,

Even then all I did was pray,

I knew God,

Just couldn’t make good choices,

There were more bright spots then dark clouds,

The older I got the closer I got to God,

Didn’t make me any smarter,

I did become a father,

“Are you ready to be a father?”

Should have thought of that question first,

What I learned being a father is if you don’t love yourself you can’t love anything else,

If your completely and totally self-conscious about everything and everyone nothing will be accomplished,

I learned those lessons now I’m trying to implement them into my life,

It feels late,

Not too late,

During that time I never thought this would be my fate,

One date can turn into a life of struggle,

I spent my twenties working at a places I hated,

Those are strong words,

That’s how I felt,

I was a angry young man waiting on a blessing,

It’s like I tried so hard to be good I turned bad,

I was a good friend,

A good son,

A poor Dad,

Now I’m only in my thirties about to be a granddad,…

Listen to me life is real and it moves fast,

The past is not just the past,

It will effect your future,

I’m still young,

I’m not trying to be rich,

Cool,

Famous,

A hero,

I’m trying to be the man I picture in my mind God wants me to be,

When I write I’m only writing for two reasons,

These are my prayers,

I’m talking to God,

And I’m writing to my love,

My best friend that has always been there through thick and thin,

She sees me from within,

My beautiful angel of passionate feelings,

True feelings,

My heart,

My soul,

Tears roll down my face as I write this,

That’s how deep my love is for you,

A true gift from God,

Poetry I love you……..

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